Thank you guys. Your kind words were much needed-i just cried and cried. Not bad crying, though! You're right-almost NO time apart in all these several months, really. I would just go sit in my truck and listen to music or watch netflix on my ipad, but if he was feeling halfway decent he'd find me and just sit there in the truck with me. He didn't want to be alone. Now that we are home i spend a LOT of time out on the property, either alone or with the kids doing chores he can't and enjoying the horses or chickens. I dread cold or rainy days that keep me inside hearing the hacking and spitting. I took my mom to a doc appt in Austin, then we went to my sisters house. MUCH needed time away-i have to do that again soon! Meeting with a psychiatrist soon for anxiety/depression next week. Meanwhile I will await his doc appt and bring up the smell-i, too, am worried how he can heal if it smells like infection-it smells like that rotten tumor before they cut it out. I tried one more time to sweetly and gently broach the subject, after he rode to town with me to buy a new hot water heater as our just quit, and that smell in the enclosed space, well, i tried, he resisted by telling me it hurts to do his rinses/brush his teeth. I offered the suggestions from his nurses and then dropped it. Hoping against hope doc can get him to listen next weds! He is very stubborn, and most of the time that is good-not now, tho! I can't thank you enough for listening-it is soooo helpful! I pray someday i can help someone like y'all are helping me!