Hi all,

I am Heidi, daughter in law to one of the bravest women I know. 6 yrs ago she was diagnosed with oral cancer, roof of her mouth and sinus (she nearly lost her good eye during surgery it had gone so far up). It took nearly 3 yrs for her dental implants to finally be placed well enough for her to learn to eat again (she was swallowing boost pretty much all that time with the occasional pureed food or pudding).

Then literally one week after she was given the all clear she started having trouble swallowing, lost 20 pounds within a few weeks, and was diagnosed with esophageal cancer.. a new primary. We moved her in with us as she was no longer able to care for herself (she is 84 now) and arranged for her to have a feeding tube placed as well as chemo and radiation. We are well acquainted with feeding tubes and central lines as my 8 yr old son has been on TPN nearly since birth as well as gt feeds of his own.

She has never been able to come off of the feeding tube, and though the esophageal and oral cancers remained clear (until now) she has had several bouts with skin cancer and bullous pimphergoid (as well as compression fracture of her spine).

Yesterday she was diagnosed again with a new primary oral cancer, this time just inside her lip. She is devastated as you can imagine. We are waiting on an appt with the radiation oncologist as her ENT felt that surgery was not a good option given how awful her mouth is already (she drools constantly, often has yeast that just wont go away, etc). We are going to talk to him about what would happen if she chose not to treat at this point, and what he would expect for her if she does treat. She got really sick during and after her esophageal treatment (carbo and taxol along with radiation) and I know does not want to get to that point again. She says she is already just waiting to die... miserable, though she tries not to show it much, she is not having very good quality of life except for having her grandkids around.

Anyway... I guess what I am looking for is any information about what happens if you dont treat, as in pain especially, discomfort, etc... I would imagine she would eventually end up with mets in various other places, lungs, liver, etc? Also information regarding just radiation... chemo is out, it made her way way too sick and I know she wont want to go that route again. I dont want to push her in any particular direction here, it needs to be her decision.

Thoughts or suggestions most appreciated...

Heidi