Hi Cindy, oh I think I know where you are coming from.
Kris had both a laryngectomy and a total Glossectomy 32 months ago. He does have a TEP prosthesis but without a tongue it is difficult to understand him. Especially when his mouth is wet - as he has no tongue to sweep up the secretions to swallow. I understand most of what he says, but others have no clue. Lately he too has become short tempered and cross with me when I fail to understand immediately what he is trying to say. When he writes I can see/hear and feel the anger and frustration in his pen and on the paper!
Is there a reason why you do not have a TEP? As you do have a tongue this should work well for you. I envy other Laryngectomees and their quite clear speech.
I have just read your post to Kris. This is what he has written: " I can sympathise. Very hard trying to make a point, especially in a dispute when writing slows everything- and people can just ignore it anyway. Just adopt a teenagers attitude - no one understands me - they're all ......"
Honestly, it is very frustrating for me as his wife too. I do my very best to understand and feel quite hurt when he gets cross with me for not understanding. We just have to take a step back, keep calm and try again, slowly.
Kris was a journalist and had a great way with words. This is extremely frustrating for him. I just tell myself and him that this is so much better than the alternative of what would have happened if he had not had this surgery - and that was certain death within a short time period.
Not really much advice I know Cindy. But, you are not alone. Kris definitely gets you and how you are feeling.
Have you considered some counselling at all? Just an idea. This really is about accepting how you are now.
Oh , Kris uses Speakit on the IPad , pen and paper too when I fail to get it .
Tammy