Ann,
Hang in there! Ask questions and going to a major hospital specializing in oral/head/ maxilifacial is IMPERATIVE. If you are in the right place they will guide you.
I had a tongue resection, grafted from my thigh, 2 tumors removed at the base of my tongue, and the right side of my neck resected and all the nodes taken out. My surgery went very well and I luckily didnt need any kind of therapy. There was a drain in my neck for a day. Unfortunatley I had to have 42 treatments of radiation and thats what knocked me for a loop. I also had a peg tube. Dont be afraid of that, I begged them to put one in I was so weak. They wanted to prior to the radiation and I was tooo stubborn. Please listen to what they reccommend. Good luck at Duke! Maria