This is a choice about life, or death.
If I understand correctly, his radiation was in 2001.
He now has a recurrence at the BOT.
When Kris had his recurrence and was told that he would need both a total Glossectomy and a total Laryngectomy etc etc. His initial reaction was that he would not do such surgery. His initial reaction was one of shock at what he would lose and fear at what his life would be like post operatively. I think Charles needs to discuss this further with his surgeons to really understand what is involved in the surgery and also to really understand the choice he is making by refusing surgery.
Of course it is natural to be concerned at what life will be like after this surgery. But what will it be like if he does not have the surgery?
We were told Kris would have a most unpleasant death within 12 months should he not go ahead. 2 and 1/2 years later he is well and happy . Life is good. Different. But good.
Please feel free to PM me if I can assist you both further.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!