I'm sorry for you and everyone facing and dealing with this disease and its aftermath.

When my husband could not eat or had difficulty eating, I went through a spell - I would eat very little for days (due to guilt & zero appetite), then I would overeat for a day, and back and forth like this. Finally, I realized this would not make my husband happy and probably make me sick. I started walking regularly and that helped me. I was still very sad and anxious, but not so crazy.