Great post, Paul, breaking the situation down into manageable parts is a very successful technique for keeping the situation from overwhelming you.

Focus on the immediate need and blot out the stuff you don't have to deal with at this moment and deal with it later.

And by the way, ammonsmg1, none of what you are reading here is at all in the realm of the abstract, it is practical advice from those who have gone through this and come out with body and soul intact.

Well, bodies mostly intact, that is...

But think of this, your body is like your horse (work with me here). You are not your horse, you are the rider. If you horse sustains damage, it's going to affect your mobility, but YOU remain intact.

Or, if that analogy doesn't work for you, think of your body. If you lose your arm, are you still you? Of course you are, but your reality has changed. That's exactly what happens to us all here, our reality suddenly changes with the diagnosis of Cancer, yet we are the same inside.

For this reason, it pays big dividends to realize that no matter how much our bodies change over the years, we remain. Reality is always reality and clinging to what was before the change is not only fruitless, it is very dangerous to our psyches.

Loss of any body part or function, however painful that loss might be at the time it happens, is simply a change in reality. Give no thought to what was, it is no longer your reality, it is but a dream. Apply the 5 steps above and get on with your life, knowing that you will get through this even if the passage is (extremely) unpleasant at times.

Again, you have the greatest possible moral support team here filled with folks who have a closet full of those "BTDT" T-shirts. Practical advice on dealing with nearly every conceivable rock you'll find in your path is here for the asking. We want you to succeed and also to do so with a peaceful mind.

Good luck, brother,

Bart

PS, Happy Mother's day to all of you brave mothers out there! B