When people are in pain and are afraid of dying they don't always become the saints we see depicted in the media. As normal humans they tend to get a bit P.O.ed and depressed. As a standby caregiver it's tough to watch. I see the same type of behavior from my Dad to my Mom (and directed to me as well). Being human myself, I too can get angry and depressed at it all. Take a walk, drink plenty of water, read or do something that relaxes and comforts you every day. You'll do better and that means you'll help your brother and his wife more effectively. Also, perhaps allow your sister-in-law the time to do the same by taking a turn in her place. The road is long but it CAN lead to a good destination. Use this website and soak up the positive energy of the survivors and their families. Ciao, Tina


Daughter of 75-yr-old Dad with tongue cancer (T3NOMO) surgery and rt neck dissec 4/27/05; completed 27 X IMRT on 7/01/05; recurrance w/ surgical removal of another SCC tumor on 10/7 (he's also nonHodgkins lymphoma survivor since 1/94)