Hi Bailey - first off take a deep breath, two in fact. You just came to the best place on the planet for what you need. Either we have the cancer like your husband, or are caregiver to someone who does. So, welcome to the family girl. The cavalry has arrived.

This family has kept all of us sane through our journey, me especially. It's one of the reasons we stick around after treatment is done, to help the others who come after us. It will do the same for you. There's just something about talking to people who KNOW what you are dealing with that makes it easier to get through.

Right now, you have a steep learning curve to negotiate, lots to learn in a short period of time. So, besides spending time here on the forum getting to know others, spend time on the OCF website pages where all the technical information about diagnosis and treatment lives. By comparison, try to avoid the internet in general about oral cancer as a lot of that info is flat out wrong and will do more harm than good. Now, if that info comes from the American Cancer Society or the Center for Disease Control then it's probably accurate.

Get yourself a spiral notebook to write down all the questions you will think of. I had separate lists for each doctor (ENT, radiation oncologist, surgeon, etc) as well as a list for the nurses and for the questions you will think of from reading the forum and website.

Last thing I will say today is to consider getting your husband to join the forum also. It will go much smoother and better if he can get to know others directly instead of having to get everything through you.

Right now, you are at the worst point in the journey. You know so little about the disease, and that is the cause of your fear. Each day that passes, you will know more, and the fear level will decrease until soon you will be able to sleep again. We've all been in your shoes, so we know what you are going through.

Again, welcome to the family.

Tony