Hi. I'm set to have pretty big surgery on 18 February. I suffered a morphine overdose from the self-administered pump last time (2009). Same thing happened in 1995. It's a ghastly experience and I'm worried about my few remaining brain cells if they go ahead with morphine again. They seem to be reluctant to give me an alternative but I've got three weeks to research this and appeal to the anaesthetist and surgeon for something else. I don't feel that I can refuse morphine outright because I'm scared that other drugs might cause me to hallucinate too.
I'd be very grateful if people could share their expertise on this subject.

1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.