Hello Roger, I know too well how shattering a recurrence diagnosis is. I want to tell you that you will get through this and that you will be ok.
My Husband Kris is 21 months post his total Glossectomy / total laryngectomy.
Kris is doing very well, as will you. I'm not sure exactly what you want to know about life after this surgery, however I will tell you that you will eat and you will talk.
If you have specific queries please ask and I will try to answer them.
Just know that your life will still be good and bring you a lot of joy. It takes time to adapt to your new "normal" , but you will get there.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!