In May,, my dear friend Paul had surgery to remove 2/3 of his tongue due to squamous cell carsinoma. After that, they did 31 radiation treatments with effects that were worse than the surgery. He's lost a lot of weight and was doing fairly good in spite of his difficulties eating. A few weeks ago he began to see a lump on his neck where the drainage tube was from his neck dissection. It looked like an infection. They looked at it and gave him anit-biotics. Nothing happened. They did a biopsy and another CT scan. On Frida we saw the doctor again for the results. He began by saying, This is NOT GOOD Paul. There is a tumor in your neck and "I don't know why this happened". Paul asked if it was terminal and he said he didn't know. On MOnday, we see the plastic surgeon, for what reason, we are not sure. On Tuesday, we see the Oncologist who we had never seen before. Wednesday we find out if this is terminal. Paul is taking this much better than I am. He's holding out hope but I am completely shattered. I can't stop crying and I try not to do that in front of him. He just keeps telling me that when he dies I should take care of his dog. I'm just crushed and don't know what to do. I did make some calls to the Cancer Clinic of America. They don't do much in head and neck. They suggested the UW Madison Hospital and Clinic. I'm in the process of getting a refferral. Dr. Gupta did not sound at all hopeful and just kept telling Paul and me that this is not good. This is not good. I am at a loss of what to do. Paul's family is completely dysfunctional and came to see him once after his original surgery. I've done all the rest which is fine. I lost my other dear friend to brain cancer three years ago and it seems like a replay of that. I just can't stop crying and feel totally helpless. Has anyone had a recurrance of this. What did they do. I read that chemotherapy is of minimal effectivness. Are there other treatments. What do I do for him. What do I do for me. How can I help him when I can't stop crying. Please help us. Brian [email protected] and [email protected]