Katie-
I have read your posts, and I just want to let you know that I am one more of many who is rooting for you and praying for a good outcome with your treatment. My husband's case is different from yours, but I have found us on the Recurrence Board as well. Everything in the world shifts perspective. Our 3 kids are 10 and 12, and since April, my heart has been broken and then glued back together with hope. You are amazingly strong, showing a sense of humor and self-awareness. All those feelings you express are real and true and, most importantly, legitimate and acceptable!

My very best to you,
Mary

Mary
Caregiver to husband, 60
Dx Sept '12 SCC BOT T2N2aMo, Stage IV, HPV+
Oct '12 Sub.Gland transfer
Nov-Dec '12 IMRT x 33 + cisplatin x7
March '13 PET/CT: 2 spots on lungs; (BOT & neck lymphs NED)
April '13 Biopsy: 1 = malignant right hilar lymph (met from HNSCC)p16
9/13: 33 rounds IMRT to lungs; carboplatinx7
CT w/contrast 12/30/13: 2 spots left hilar lymph. biopsy confirms SCC
30 rounds IMRT to left lung; treatment ended 5/29/14
Sept 2014--CT clear; December 2014 CT clear