Katie-
I have read your posts, and I just want to let you know that I am one more of many who is rooting for you and praying for a good outcome with your treatment. My husband's case is different from yours, but I have found us on the Recurrence Board as well. Everything in the world shifts perspective. Our 3 kids are 10 and 12, and since April, my heart has been broken and then glued back together with hope. You are amazingly strong, showing a sense of humor and self-awareness. All those feelings you express are real and true and, most importantly, legitimate and acceptable!
My very best to you,
Mary