I am sorry to hear about the situation. I am new to all of this myself, but I find what gets me through every day is reminding myself that once the "hard part" is over, I've given myself a chance to live. The big C, as horrible as it is, has really opened my eyes to what I want out of life and has provided such a clarity to my thoughts. I hope for the best, for both of you, and you will be in my thoughts. You have a great community here to provide plenty of support.