Thank you, Bilge. Honesty has always been one of my strong suits, and words have always been important to me. I think people highly undervalue the true worth of words when really they are one of the most powerful thing we have available to us. I appreciate your kind words, maybe one day I will make an attempt at really writing something. I've got a long life ahead of me so I have plenty of time.
Christine, not knowing has honestly been one of the more frustrating things. I have broken only once and that was about 7-8 days in at the hospital after I made the decision to get the peg tube. I just broke down and cried and sat there asking why this was happening to me. I've always done everything I can to help people out and make positive impacts as often as I can. From doing charity work to doing volunteer work to raise money for my local animal shelter, to being the first to always offer a hand when a friend is moving or just needs someone to be there for them, I've always had this drive to make a difference.
Delaying college was absolutely the hardest choice I have made. I was a high school drop out for personal reasons that really just led to the stupid decision to quit school. I spent 6 years working dead end jobs not really going anywhere. After I adopted my dog, Timber, he taught me so much of how responsible I can be and that I was capable of so much more. Some people think that's weird because they don't understand how bonded people and animals can become. I'm thankful every single day that I adopted him. April 2012 I took my GED test and didn't study a single minute for it. A passing score is 2250, I scored 3530. Max score per section was 800, I scored 800 in Science, 770 in writing, and 750 in math. I could have passed the GED based on those three parts alone! The day I received my diploma I applied to the local community college. Unfortunately the past year has not been lucky. in May 2012, we lost our home of 15 years to a house fire. I spent my Summer dealing with that while I waited for school to come around. It was a rough three months, but I have this amazing strength that gets me through anything. I had my dog and he never left my side. We've been through a lot together in such a short time. I finished my first semester with a 3.7 GPA while taking five classes and working a part time job, then finished the second semester with a 4.0 while taking 4 classes and working two part time jobs. After that first semester I joined the international honor society, which you can enter by invite only. To be invited after one semester felt amazing.
I planned on getting my associates at the community college, but I heard a lot of people talking about how a lot of classes don't transfer over to state colleges, so I didn't like that. I scheduled a campus visit at the University of New Haven which is only about a 5 minute drive from where I currently live. I fell in love with the school. The faculty was so involved with their students and the campus is beautiful with so many clubs to get involved in. 90% of the staff has a doctorate or the highest attainable degree in their field and they also work in the field as well, so you get real life experience from them. I decided to go on a whim and apply. I wasn't sure what to expect. Sure enough, I received a package in the mail telling me I have been accepted on $16,000 in scholarships. UNH is actually a private college, so that made me feel even more overwhelmed at how much stock they are willing to put into me, how much they believe in the success I will have. I cried tears of joy from that letter. I've decided to frame the acceptance letter because I'm so proud of how quickly I've turned my life around without any help from anyone. When I am healed up and I get to go to the school in the Spring, I am going to take it by storm and really make a name for myself.
David, my situation really gets the point across of how dangerous cancer is. Not to say people don't already understand it's dangerous, but the fact that it can just come out of no where with none of the known causes says a lot about how much we still have to learn. I've actually donated to cancer research in the past and I've participated in Relay for Life events as well, being in this situation I sure am glad I did that. I've read a lot on this site and the positive attitudes of everyone going through similar situations is definitely a huge boost in keeping spirits high. My determination will not falter. I was fitted for my radiation mask on July 2nd, my radiologist said it would take 1-2 weeks to get all of the specs down since it's a very precise science for radiation of the head and neck. So I would safely assume it will start the third week of July.
I'm a very passionate guy, that's probably why I keep writing so much more than I intend to do, haha. Thank you all for your well wishes, I will continue to keep my spirits high and let nothing slow me down!
This picture was the day I got home from the hospital. He is usually so excited and jumps all over me anytime I get home from being gone for just a few hours, but he knew something was up, he didn't jump. He jumped on my back and whined and gave me lots of kisses. He smelled my stomach where the tube is then looked at me, then smelled my neck where the incision is then looked at me, then smelled my tongue where half was now missing and then looked at me. He gave me a sad look, sighed, and then proceeded to lay down and put his head on my lap. When I decided to lay down this is how he responded.
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No matter where I go in my house, he's right there with me. He makes sure I get plenty of love and attention while I'm recovering. He's the best support system as he always gives me a boost in my mood and he's always there by my side. I love this dog to death.
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