Christine, I think of you often as Matt passed away just after my John. Our journeys were so similar. I do come back here sporadically but it does make it hard, remembering everything we went through, and reading the others posts. All I can say is I continue to take one day at a time, as John would want. You no doubt have learned to do the many things Matt would take care of. You put one foot in front of the other and go on each day. All those 'firsts' will happen and you WILL endure them. Hug your family and be the strong woman you are deep down. There are many of us that are walking this path right alongside you.
Peace and love


Bonnie

CG to husb John, 57, love of my life for 35 yrs.
Dx 2/10, T2N2cMx, SCC BOT & lymph nodes.
Non smoker. Biopsy HPV+.
No surgery - IMRT 35X + 7 chemos cleared BOT
9/10-mets to lungs.
2 rounds chemo, last one trial drug which did not work.

Lost the battle, but walking in Glory 9/7/11.