Kroman - it's okay to feel sorry for yourself. However... This is a reality everyone of us faces - though it sometimes takes cancer or a life threatening disease to make one see it... NO ONE is guaranteed a tomorrow. Sometimes it's hard to focus on the good, or even the day to day when you have a fear hanging over your head. But the reality is, I may have cancer, have had it, or have a precancerous condition, I may face a recurrence - but putting all that aside I may also step off a curb and get mowed down by a garbage truck. Live for now, plan for your future but don't waste important time on may or may not bes...sure every once in a while you may have a thought that paralyses you with fear, give it its due attention, if its a health issue do what you can to take care of it, be diligent but not obsessive, and then move on. Otherwise you spend so much time focusing on the fear of dying or being sick that you never really live.