Llisa, my heat goes out to you and your husband.

For the record, I was Stage IV when diagnosed, and I'd had the lump that led to the diagnosis for over 6 years, so I'm incurable. No sweat, no one gets out of here alive anyway.

But I was declared clean, following the surgery to remove the (tangerine sized) lump and the subsequent three applications of Cisplatin at 3 week intervals while I was getting my 8 weeks of radiation.

A routine follow-up scan 17 months later showed activity in my liver; a tissue biopsy confirmed that the cancer was back. This time, being in the liver meant it was a "Distant metastasis" and ups the staging to Stage IVc. That little "c" changes the prognosis signiicantly. Five-year survival rate for Stage IV is 30%; for IV "c" it is zero. Bear in mind, these are only statistics and meaningless in individual cases.

I have just been declared "free" for the third time, with both of the recurrences located in my liver, only the last time it was in multiple locations. After the first recurrence, I was free for three months. I won't get another scan until September, and who knows what it will show. I won't predict, but I know it will be back and I'm cool with that, it is what it is.

BTW, and for the record, the second time I was treated with a cocktail of Carboplatin and Taxol for two cycles (One IV per week for 3 weeks, then a week off) and because I had some (additional) neuropathy (more hearing loss), my MO switched the Taxol to Taxetere for another three cycles, at the end of which I was "free" again.

The third and most recent recurrence was treated with Xeloda; 5FU in pill form (3000 mg/day for 14 days, 7 days free is one cycle) for two cycles, then 2500 mg/day for another 4 cycles. And that brings us up to today.

You know, death is one of two experiences that all humans share, birth being the other. Living in the moment, doing everything you can to combat the disease and provide as much comfort to your mate (whether patient or caregiver) is all anyone can do.

I wish you and your mate every success in your struggle, and peace of mind from knowing that you've done all you can and the rest is out of your hands.

Bart