Terry..you are going thru what everyone else here has , trying to figure out Why Me? Concentrate just now on what you need to do to fight this hellish disease. Try to bulk up on your calories , you need to pack on some pounds. The feeding tube was a blessing for my husband, he would never have made it thru without it. But, lots of our members here managed . Spend some time looking thru the old posts on the site ,there are not many problems that someone here has not faced. Keep in touch.
Take care.
Marica

Caregiver to husband Pete. SCC stage IV diagnosed 4/03 chemo /radiation, no surgery. Treatment ended 8/03.. doing great.