Thanks Christine. I've been trying. I have a pile of to do list that is growing higher and higher but the quality of my concentration is deteriorating. I'm trying to keep it together because if my mom sees me freaking out, then she will freak out some more. She started bleeding from her tumor again last night and she hasn't done that in weeks. What do we do while my mom is having surgery? How long before she wakes up from it?

I'm scared to see her after the surgery. I'm afraid of the journey we're about to embark on. As I read the posts from others, it makes me realized that tomorrow is likely only the beginning of the battle. I don't know how much fight either of us have left in ourselves. We both need a break. I feel alone and I'm sure she feels even more alone. I'm the only child since my brother has abandoned our family. My father is deceased, my grandparents are all deceased, my aunts are on the other side of the country. I feel that my husband and friends don't really understand and while they try to "help", I often feel more frustrated. I end up not wanting to discuss the surgery or the cancer. So then they give me space and I feel more alone. But I don't have answers for myself let alone for anyone else.