The waiting game continues. I had an MRI last week and the surgeon took several biopsies from my left, right tonsils and soft palate. I thought it was going to be painful after (my throat looks like a car crash now) but the procedure actually has stopped my sore throat and ear pain and for the first time in two months I'm not needing any pain control.

We saw the surgeon after who remained perplexed. He said it didn't look any better (which was a bitter blow to take, I have managed to maintain some strenght over the last couple of weeks through being able to see small parts of it seeming to clear up. I rationised this that he has spent 5 minutes in total looking with his (expert) eyes, but my inexperienced eye has studied it a bit more than that!) He was honest though and said he would be very surprised if this turns out to be anything sinister- I am young and he has never seen something this extensive in a patient my age (this could turn out to be a bad blessing!!!) Not what you want to pin your hopes to.

We are now in the final waiting stages then -the results are all due on wednesday and will be discussed by the clinical team. The surgeon said he will call if there is news (I don't think I can work that day- the most scary phonecall of my life).

The anxiety is so difficult to handle, I struggle to sleep one night that then just plays on your mind. Then I get an injection of strenght, but find my partner has been unable to sleep for her worry.

I must (try to) maintain my homour. Recovering after a general anaesthetic is odd. Over the coming days I discover the odd new bruises, my underneath of my tongue is the only bit that hurts-- it must have been clamped or something.

Thanks for reading and your comments above are of great comfort, in what are some of the difficult days I have faced. I remember my Dad going through a similar period of uncertainty, he was eventually diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and this experience makes me worry more.