Ah Paddler
You've been through the wars haven't you.

Sympathy is not my forte but I can help you with info and experience - Alex and I have lots of that. If you ask questions that are within our field of experience, I will share the relevant bits of Alex's story.

My first question to you though is one that needs to be directed to your doctor: Is radiation an option? And if not, why not? As this is now a recurrence, I would also be considering a second opinion and seek out doctors who see lots of other oral cancer patients who work in a centre of excellence. I believe that in the US you have good hospitals for treating cancer and average hospitals for treating cancer.

It also may be time to go against your natural inclination to let the doctors take control, and take a more active role in your own treatment. This forum can help you do that.

My Alex is the "do it and let me know when your done" guy and I am the "but why, and what are the other options?" girl. So naturally I took over the logistics and questions (and sometimes battles) whilst Alex's job was get through treatment. If you prefer not to do the "why and what are the options" job yourself, do you have someone who will partner with you and take some of the load?