Oh Donna, it never gets easier does it. I get into an emotional spin whenever something odd happens health wise with Kris.
All I can suggest is what you already know, go and get it checked out by your doc. The lump seems to have come up awfully quickly to be a cancerous node. Together with the ear pain it's probably an infective reaction. Get it checked.
Thinking of you, Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!