I've only had 12 rad treatments and one 6 hour cisplatin, the next one to be done on Dec 6. Most of the time I manage my feelings pretty well, but last night I didn't. I had a really good day on Saturday, spent time with friends laughing and smiling and feeling almost normal. Sunday was a good day with a mile walk with my Portuguese Water Dog,Blue, put the Christmas tree up and outside lights. I took a nap and woke up totally depressed, barely able to swallow and just absolutely miserable. My tears and sadness are so hard on my dear husband and son who is out here helping. When it starts I wish I could stop it, but it just doesn't. Part of it started because I woke up soooo hungry for something to eat, really eat. I have decided to go all liquids because everything tastes so gross, I can't get it down. It doesn't help my hair is falling out all around the bottom of my hairline. I have a rash now all around my neck that itches. I'll talk to my doc today. Okay, I'm finished whining, y'all have a good day.