Ditto what Bette said. While salvage surgery like yours does impact "quality of life", not getting surgery impacts the "quantity of life". Your choice is very simple, get the surgery or die. You will be surprised what you can and will adjust to in terms of speech and eating. Why give up now?
No one is guaranteed that the cancer won't come back. This is my third time around. Life can still be good and worth living no matter what the side effects. No shame in being scared.
Scroll through the posts and read the signature lines of many posters who have had similar surgery and survived and thrived.
This is a doable fight. Here is a link to the CCCs
The key to success though is to find a surgeon who had done this procedure regularly and successfully which usually means an affiliation with a CCC.
CCC 2012 list
Unfortunately, we don't have any in Virginia. The closest to Northern Virginia are Lombardi CCC in DC at Georgetown Hospital and Sidney Kimmel CCC at John Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.
Keep the Faith
Charm