While many many male patients revert to childish behavior under the stress of TX, turning their caregivers into surrogate mothers, this sounds more serious. Can't hurt to mention it to his doctors. If he does not have any hippie history of dealing with drugs, it could be patch related as he is just too stoned to function. Perhaps he is a "strong responder" to the pain medication.
Since you live in California, my advice is to get your husband certified for medical marijuana and then go buy some liquid tinctures or edibles from a dispensary. The medical marijuana has no fatal overdose possible (unlike the patch) and does a much better job of controlling neuropathic pain which is a major component of treatment pain. Plus he won't be as addled or confused as with the opiates. It should let him reduce his opiate dose while still controlling the pain and let you get your husband back
Charm.