MJ -
we have my 96 year old father living with us. He will not let a doctor treat his skin cancer - very frustrating to us, but it is his decision. My mother passed from a stroke almost 7 years ago to the day. Before that she had told me, in no uncertain terms, that she didn't want to have anymore stuff done to her. After the stroke, I signed a DNR order, and did not give permission for the surgery that would have given a small chance of some recovery. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it was what she wanted.
We're with you whatever the choice!
Maria
PS - don't worry about the eloquent part just now!