Hi there - it depends on location and tumor size. If it is base of tongue cancer - sounds like it isnt - based on the no mets - (usually base of tongue is HPV related and often found in the nodes first) then Chemo and rads is generally the option to go with - it responds very well to chemo and rads.

If its oral tongue and non HPV related - the standard is surgery, first. Then followed up by rads and chemo if required. if you are worried about swallowing its not the surgery that will be the issue - the rads is what damages your swallowing.
I had a third to half of my tongue removed and was swallowing fine a week or two post surgery. Radiation is what damages your muscles. I was even talking okay, now I have a small lisp depending on my tongue's mood (very sensitive to spice, temperature etc since rads cooked it)

The idea behind the surgery first is Eliminate as much of the cancer and it's known Pathways - the nodes) to stop it In It's tracks, then do chemo and radiation If there is reason for concern that there might be microscopic cancer left. often this is related to whether there's perineural involvement - differentiation etc...

I had 40 nodes removed cancer was found in one and that hadn't popped up on my MRI or ct.

You said tongue? Are we talking whole tongue or a portion of it?

Regardless of what he chooses everyone here is right, medical care is number one...a top ccc is worth the time and expense, get him to one. Hugs! And sorry you have to be here.