Hopefully this topic won't be considered taboo - I am very curious and I have a question for my fellow female OC patients (with significant others) - regardless of what stage of the process you are in... I'm 1 month out from my surgery (ok, a few days shy - surgery was 4/11). I had roughly 1/4 of my tongue removed, no reconstruction, just a biograft on the tongue and stitches there - also neck dissection to remove 29 lymph nodes - no chemo, no radiation.

My question is this - how long was it before you were ready (and able) to be physically intimate with your significant other?? Has your diagnosis/treatment created any issues for you in that area? I know I'm only a month out but I have tons of emotions on this - my husband and I are currently sleeping in seperate rooms because I am on short term disability until I get the 'ok' from my docs to go back to work and my husband gets up at 4:30AM to get ready for work... Also because of some discomfort on the side where my surgery was (my right side), it makes more sense (temporarily) for me to sleep in the guest bedroom where I can be propped up by lots of pillows. The lack of physical proximity at night makes me feel like there is a bit of distance between us now.

My husband has been extremely supportive and understanding throughout this process but I am worried about him - I know he misses our intimacy, as do I, and I worry about the effect this will have on us long-term. Don't get me wrong, the desire is definitely there - at least for me it is - but I don't even know what/if I can do right now... I still have stitches in my tongue - I have shoulder pain, neck stiffness and swelling. I worry - would it even be safe right now or should I just be patient and ask my doctor when it's safe to have sex with my husband again???

We've been together almost 12 years now and I adore him but I am concerned that our current lack of intimacy is putting a bit of a wedge between us...

- Pepper