Patty,

Welcome to OCF my dear, glad you found us, sorry you had to!

You are among friends and people who understand your fears and pain. We also understand what you've been through, and will never discount it just because some have had worse experiences, nor should you. Our experiences are relative to us, and they are difficult and should never be discounted. It's OK to say "I've been through hell", it's when you accept and acknowledge it that you can truly start to recover from the emotional damage this experience causes.

As far as your HPV concerns, well none of the research I've read definitively rules out transmission through kissing, but I believe the facts are we just don't know. It's generally accepted that genital contact is how it spreads, sex, oral sex etc... That being said, you're husband has been exposed to the virus so just being diligent and getting regular cancer screenings at his dental checkups are prudent.

When I was asked by Men's Health in their HPV article last year if having HPV related Oral Cancer has changed my wife and I's sex life, my response was "My wife and I haven't changed what we do in the bedroom, I just try and have as much sex with her as I can!"

Where it was meant to be funny, it also has wisdom in it somewhere. She's been exposed, either introducing the virus to me or I her (blame game is pointless as who cares at this point) but we know it's a factor in our relationship. So all we can do is keep vigil and have her get her regular "lady" checkups and cancer screenings at her regular dental appts etc...

I would encourage the youngins to look into getting HPV vaccinated to protect themselves when they get older as again...knowing what we know it's just prudence.

Be well,

Eric