Roger - if you allow the "what-ifs" to spend too much time with you, it will stress you out and stress can make anyone physically and emotionally sick in itself, which takes away from your body the strength it needs to heal and be healthy. So if you can choose (and it is a choice) to at least start with imposing a time limit for worrying or if you want to think of it as having compassion for yourself, then you will begin to spend more time on the positive aspects of healing and will feel better. We all need help to do this at some time or other. Seeing a therapist is a good idea or perhaps you can check with your doctor to see if he feels you could use meds to help in getting you to a better place emotionally. There are many things in life we cannot change, but we can change our attitudes. It takes practice, little by little. All you have to do is choose to take the first steps. And you have already taken some big ones with counseling and seeing a psychiatrist in April. Hang on to the good and the positive thoughts, and ignore the negative. Come back here often. It's the best place for the most accurate and the latest information but especially for the encouragement and support we all need when things get difficult. Please let us know how you are doing.