Anne-Marie, good stuff. I realized right away, and have never forgotten it for a single day since - especially as I read about the real heroes on this forum - how lucky I was a) to have had a cancer that my doctors said they could cure (ok, well, my ENT didn't go that far, he's kind of a laconic guy) and moreover b) that living in LA and thankfully having kept my health insurance paid up, however exorbitant it has been, I had access to such fine medicos in the first place.

I think at some level or maybe at certain times in our lives at least, we all have the feeling that we won't ever die. Naturally as we get older that feeling tends to recede a bit. And going through what we go through with our illnesses tends to sharpen the debate, so to speak. Or at least it did for me.

Yale University makes a number of its courses available free online. There's a fascinating one I'm plowing through at the moment, a philosophy course concerning, well, death. I'm actually reading the transcripts rather than watching the lectures, they give you the choice.

I'm doing it because I want the perspective. Or perspectives. I know that many people here and elsewhere take comfort in the thought of some kind of life after death. I have never been among them. But in no uncertain terms, going through these last few years has sharpened my appreciation for the here and now. I wouldn't say, as I've read from some (not necessarily here but in general) anything like "Getting cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me!" If that's true of some people I have great admiration for them. Mixed with some pity to be sure.

However if undergoing this stuff gives you insight, all the better. Hitchens clearly went through an ordeal that made mine seem like a walk in the park (even though it certainly did not seem so at the time!) and bore it all courageously. Would that we all could be so aware and able to express ourselves, even in limited ways, under such duress.

As far as football players praying for a touchdown... I would have to think that any god out there would have more important things to do with his or her time. As the coaches might put it, I'll stick with fundamentals, team speed and hard hitting.