Dear Lin,
I am so sorry for all that you have had to endure in the the past. Some of us get more than our fair share of trials, that's for sure. The fear is completely normal and you needn't beat yourself up for feeling like a "little kid". It's so hard not to get ahead of yourself when you're waiting for test results. I, too, am a medical professional and we can especially drive ourselves nuts when we are patients! I am hoping that all comes back benign and that you can move forward without any difficult treatment. If it is CA, then you do the next right thing by seeking the best care possible. We are all here for you, regardless.

Hoping and wishing for the best,
Kerri