Donna, welcome to OCF. I'm certain this is a place where you will receive some much needed support. Its not unusual for a caregiver to seek out a therapist to talk with and also take some anxiety meds to help get thru this. Having cancer doent just affect patients, caregivers have a very difficult job and play a huge role in a patients recovery. Make sure every single day you take at least 10 minutes just for you, do not make your 10 minutes washing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom your time. Over the years I have seen where caregivers go for a car ride to clear their heads, take long showers so they can cry without being seen, join a gym and hit the punching bag. Do anything you can to get your frustrations out, it will make a big difference in how you feel. Now that you have found OCF, you are no longer alone!

As far as your questions go, I have seen people with Stage IV and a poor prognosis beat this while some with what appears to be an easier battle lose their fight. Its nothing to do with statistics so do yourself a favor and put those out of your mind. If I paid attention to stats, I wouldnt be here as I am a 3 time oral cancer survivor. My last round the cancer was in my jaw bone. The stats show once cancer invades the bone that your chances of survival are very small. Im here and know how lucky I am, so you see you cant be sure. I am a huge believer that a positive attitude will make a difference in a persons battle. There have been members who have had their jugular vein removed and they have recovered successfully. I have seen the hardest cases that looked like it would be next to impossible to get thru it and a few years later the person is doing great. So you see you never know how it will play out.

Best thing I can tell you is to be strong! This is for your husband. He needs your strength to help him get thru this. To me, I think caregivers are angels who watch over a patient and protect them. Its a darn hard job too! Having to watch the person you love in pain and the terrible things they go thru all with a smile on your face and to also at the same time be their voice and advocate for them. Definitely a tough thing to do!!!

I wish you both all the best with everything you are facing.

((((HUGS))))