Hi, Beth.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your post. I had to stay off the forum for a while because as much support as I was getting, I found myself feeling more anxious and depressed about my prognosis.

I'm also so sorry that someone so young has to go through this. I didn't have any of the risk factors, but I did have to go through IVF to have my second child, I got pregnant right away, and then BAM...I had cancer. My surgeon told me that he has had a handful of pregnant women come to him for the very same diagnosis and that they have done well overall. So, even though there is such a small cohort of patients that were diagnosed while pregnant, I wouldn't be surprised if someday they find out that tongue cancer can be fueled by estrogen, just like some breast cancers. When I spoke to my OB just after I delivered my son, I asked her what she thought about birth control pills and HRT in the future for me. I said I wasn't comfortable taking any hormonal treatments because right now there isn't enough scientific evidence that there is a correlation, and she agreed. We just don't know now, but we may know in the future.

Did you have any risk factors for this disease? How did you find out you had it? If someone said to me a year ago "I have tongue cancer", I wouldn't have thought it was potentially so deadly. It's so scary how deadly it is if now caught early and it spreads so quickly. I still can't believe this is my life. You must feel the same way sometimes. I really hope that you start getting some clear scans and that the docs are wrong about your prognosis. Second opinions are also a good idea.

As far as wanting to have children, it's a tough subject. Are you in a committed relationship with a person who wants to have children with you? If that's the case, can he/she accept the fact/responsibility of possibly being a single parent? There are so many factors to consider aside from whether or not you should try for your own biological child or to adopt. I wish I had some answers for you. I think talking to a counselor to help sort out your feelings and goals would be a good start. It's so hard and I'm so sorry. For now, if you're feeling well enough, perhaps you could volunteer to work with children in a nearby children's hospital, or at a school, church, YMCA, etc. Sometimes working with children can at least give you that "fix" and feeling of joy that you may be looking for. I know it's not the same at all, but it might give you some fufillment.

I am a physical therapist and work in an outpatient/orthopaedic setting. I haven't worked since my diagnosis and surgery in March. My speech and strength/endurance aren't where they need to be in order to return to work. Hopefully, you can re-enroll in LPN school and focus on that.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me. You seem like a genuinely friendly person and I hope your next scan is clean. I hope that for all of us, no matter how old we are, the thought of dying is terrifying...especially after enduring such awful treatment. I'm going to be doing an Oral Cancer Awareness walk in a few weeks. It seems like a small group, but some of my friends are going to join me. I am grateful for that.

I hope to chat soon and that you can get some relief and peace in your head...that's what I need most in order to function.

xoxo,
Kerri