DQKCK,
My husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 base of tongue cancer May 2002. It doesn't sound like your husband has exactly the same thing because my husband had absolutely no symptoms until one of his lymph nodes swelled to the point of getting noticed. He had radical neck disection to remove the lymph nodes and .5cm lesion on the base of his tongue. Had 33 treatments of radiation with chemo. Good news is 6 months after treatments he's doing fantastic.
I'm curious about your symptoms and treatments. Was chemo the only treatment offered? (My husband had no swelling relating to any of his treatments. A raft of other problems, but no swelling.) Also, where are you going for care? We live in Massachusetts and from your profile, assume you do also. There are great hospitals that can handle head and neck cancer in Boston. We actually could have gone to Boston for treatment but because we live in central Mass., we chose to go to U. Mass Memorial in Worcester. We believe we received great care. Our ENT doc. was fantastic.
It is so difficult to read about people who have been misdiagnosed. This is such a horrible cancer that having treatment delayed because of some incompetent doctor is tough to take. I would almost want to suggest we post the names and/or treatment centers where this has happened. It at least emphasizes the importance of getting a second (or third) opinion. Doctors are not infallible. They are not God. They provide a service. If you are not satisfied, demand better service or go elsewhere. Good luck to you.
BC