my partner Keven has just been diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma on both the upper and lower gums on the left side of his mouth. we are still awaiting scans to find out more about how much tissue is affected, but know that some teeth and gum are going to be removed, along with an as yet unknown amount of other soft tissue and perhaps bone, and then also some nodes in the neck as a preventive measure.

We are working with a team that includes two surgeons, each of which seem to lean in different directions when it comes to reconstruction -- whether to have a permanent obturator or close of the area with a flap. Our initial understanding of the advantages of each is that the obturator would allow Keven to complete the process of reconstruction and recovery more quickly, and that the flap might be a more drawn out process but could provide a better aesthetic (and functional?) result in the end.

We would be very grateful for any insights on what it means to live through each of these -- both the surgery/recovery processes and the end results. Speech, eating, working, how Keven will feel looking in the mirror and going about his daily routines. He would like to know as much of the nitty gritty real world stuff that comes with each one, both to make an informed choice and also to be prepared for what daily life will be like.

Can you us what you think he should know? Are there questions we should be asking but might not be thinking of?

thanks in advance for your responses, and for all the helpful insight we have already gleaned from reading your postings.