Alex welcome. Please try not to stress about this - the other members suggestions are good - meditation, someone to talk to, and looking at the successes you've managed - put the bad stuff behind you - please try not to worry - you are doing what you have to - staying on top of your care and following up. It doesn't sound cancerous but it's true that if caught early this cancer is curable - those are the words my surgeon used with me - nd I had a definitive diagnosis - stage 2. Perhaps .you need to re focus. Find something you enjoy and lose yourself in it. Take care and good luck with your appointment!