Oh Lenore, what a tough place you and your husband are in! Sometimes this thing just never seems to end. There are people on this board who are bravely fighting through repeated treatments, and I know your husband can too if necessary. There are many people here who know what you are feeling, so never think you are alone. The "one day at a time" philosophy works very well here. Nobody knows what the future holds, so wasting a lot emotional energy on that depetes you.

I am blessed with an optimistic disposition, and have not experienced depression. That said, many people here have and I have read many recommendations for getting help via counseling and/or medication. I strongly urge you to investigate this. Ask the doctor, the nurse, the social worker at the hospital -- just start asking for help, because your fear and hurt come through so clearly. That you have come this far tells me you have a lot of strength, and I know you will be able to handle whatever is to come.

Let us know how you and your husband are doing, Lenore. We care.

Joanna

P.S. If you can avoid typing in all capital letters, your posts will be easier to read. Just a tip.