First let me say, I'm sorry you and your husband have to go through this. It sucks, been there and bought the t-shirt . I'm going to get practical here so just remember don't take offense...my delivery can sound harsh.

You've just had a pathology report confirming cancerous lymph nodes...get the neck dissection. Trust me it'll be less painful then leaving it there and advancing to a terminal condition. Cancer in the lymph system can go distant in the body quickly and that's why they are going to remove not only the cancerous node but those around it that may have cancerous cells too small to be detected yet.

Imho its just smart, but if you are concerned about the pain factor they do have drugs to help with that. Many of us have had dissections and are alive because of them and can think of more painful moments to be sure.

Keep your chin up

Eric