Not to ruin the buzz, so to speak, but on this day in 2003 I went with Susan to Detroit to visit her family. It was a very cold, snowy and ending up icy few days. I hate the cold. I hadn't really eaten a good whole meal for many weeks and I took nearly an hour to chew and try and swallow the great Thanksgiving dinner. It is still a bit fuzzy but I distinctly remember how hard everyone was trying to smile and include me in everything (even passing those horrible dry, scratchy bowl of nuts over and over and over...you get the picture). But as our eyes met I was so taken aback because of the tears welling up in everyone's eyes as they looked at me. I am actually fighting back the tears now telling this because I those looks of total fear are so vivid to this day. As I marveled at how good it was to eat such great food, I had to run to the bathroom and watch all that food that looked so good on the plate...well you get the picture.

I want all of you to know that even that morning when I woke up, I distinctly rememember how thankful I was from just the simple fact that my eyes opened. Every day I started with a smile because my eyes opened. I never knew for months when I went to bed if that would happen. I silently prayed the old childhood prayer most of us know by heart,...

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."

That is what got me through all the fears of going to sleep at night and gave me some pretty decent sound sleeping nights.

Without all of you and many who aren't with us this Thanksgiving, I am not sure I would have made it through the darkest of those days. As one of my heros (Brian, of course) has often reminded me, I am on this side of the grass! When it comes down to it, I probably could have made it without all of my friends here but like my faith, I am thankful that I didn't have to find out what it would have been like without both.

Thank you all and be sure and spend a moment today with kind thoughts (and prayers if you are so inclined) for those that we knew who couldn't be with us this Thanksgiving. I would list them by name but I fear I would miss one or the list would be so long that someone could become discouraged.

Live each day to make it the best day it can possibly be!

Ed

SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023