Hey Lisa,
ohhh that sucks - xanax and sleeping pill still didn't put you to sleep? I am so sorry. I'm sure you were just absolutely beyond exhausted. I'm so sorry. I totally understand that feeling though. Try as hard as you can to not let your mind wander into dangerous territory because it isn't going to help you get through this. Its so overwhelming and upsetting. I know very well how scared you feel.
I'm thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. We are here to help and support you during this trying time.
Try and relax as much as you can and get rest. Your body needs rest to be able to fight and get better.
LOVE, Kate