I just want to say how much i admire all you great people who live daily with the mental anguish of your diagnosis and waiting for test results and news on after treatment sucess.

My heart is racing,i am sweating and feel sick,and i dont even go for the scan til 5.15 tonight.I am very very frightened, more so because my recent experiences tell me i cant go through anything like Robin did.I just dont have what it takes.All i can think about is my Mum and my children,and what it will do to them if this turns out to be anything to worry about,and the fact that i am made to be a carer but not a patient,and without Robin to hold my hand,i just dont want to put even one foot on the pathway he trod so very bravely.

I so wish i had a real close friend to come with me or even to talk to,you guys are great but so far away.

Hell i hate feeling so weak and feeble minded.