Sandy

C'mon, Life is scary. Actually not having people who love you is much more scary than any oral cancer complication. Many theologians define "hell" as being deprived of LOVE. If you are surviving that, then even cancer TX should be a cakewalk for you (just my opinion not a fact)
I was puzzled when you posted that I'm having a "hard time". I'm doing just fine. It's not optimal not to be able to eat or drink but hardly the end of the world. At this point, you might not even have cancer. And I have to politely disagree: new people should look around and see that out of almost 7.000 members, most of them do just fine. And those of us who had it a little rougher are doing fine also.
Finally it's perfectly normal to be scared "s**tless" when you are waiting to see the ENT to see if you do have cancer.
TAke a deep breath (or a toke from a vaporizer like EricS) and like the very old song goes: Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, Que Sera, Sera.
Hope this is all just a false alarm for you.
Charm