Sometimes making a change from something familiar where you have gotten used to knowing what to expect can be very difficult even if the change would be a better one and would improve well being. Have you talked to her doctor re the oxycotin? Maybe he would have an idea or could talk to her about getting off the oxycotin. My son always reacted better to suggestions when they came from someone other than me. Printing out and showing your Mom what others have said about the benefits of exercising the mouth with "real" food and not only relying on the feeding tube might help. I sure hope that things improve with your Mom so that you can feel better too!