[quote=Nate82]and at times I even tell myself this is how it will go for I was deserving of this path. Nathan [/quote]
HI Nate, slap that devil sitting on your shoulder - hard! You are NOT deserving of this path - stuff just happens. Listen to the angel sitting on your other shoulder and listen to the people on this site who know.

And remember this ... you are a mere 2 weeks out from major surgery and after all the complications and trips to emergency you are 95% healed!! You are young, you will heal fast - you just proved it with surgery, there is no reason to think you won't do it again with radiation.

Good luck, and give that devil a slap from me smile
Karen

Karen
Love of Life to Alex T4N2M0 SCC Tonsil, BOT, R lymph nodes
Dx March 2010 51yrs. Unresectable. HPV+ve
Tx Chemo x 3+1 cycles(cisplatin,docetaxel,5FU)- complete May 31
Chemoradiation (IMRTx35 + weekly cisplatin)
Finish Aug 27
Return to work 2 years on
3 years out Aug 27 2013 NED smile
Still underweight