I can't believe the roller coaster I am riding. I am three weeks from diagnosis and one week before my radiation begins. I had my PET scan yesterday and am so afraid they will discover it is in my lymph nodes. I am afraid of a stage iv diagnosis.

Thankfully, I can read the posts of many stage iv survivors. I also can think of my husband, an 18 yr survivor of tongue cancer, and a 12 yr survivor of neck cancer.

I guess none of us know how much time we have, but damn, it is hard to let go of wanting to be in control.