Sons can be obstinate, too! I don't know if it has to do wih being a computer programmer with answers to everything else or what, but after much "Mom, I'm an adult now", and lots of obstinate refusals, the thing that turned the tide for us was when I printed out lots of concerned, experienced, compassionate postings from OCF people and just laid them by his bed while he was sleeping. The next day he was a whole lot more receptive.