Hi Angie,
Sorry to hear of your mom's reocurance. I know the surgery sounds very drastic- and it is... but Is it not an option because the cancer has spread or because it sounds so drastic?
I had 90% of my tongue removed and I'm doing well now. I can eat and speak. It was a difficult recovery and people have different results. It does sound pretty absolutely horrific when a Dr. tell that to you.
I recommend you get several opinions and gather as much information as you can so that she can make an informed decision on treatment options and success rates etc.
I am so sorry that you and your family are facing this ordeal. It is a lot to take in. Please come here for any support you need during this ordeal.
Kate B.