Ok all ... I am going to go to another ENT for a 2nd opinion. trying to be assertive in my own health care..I can be very assertive in some cases ..more so for others..I love to advocate and fight for others...Not so much for myself. I think my current surgeon ( whom a big part of me LOVES , but not so sure with the comfort of his decisons latley ) thinks I AM CRAAAAZZZZYYY !! I have a lump in my Jaw about the size of ..hmmmmm.. A little bigger then one of those large marbles....maybe like a phoose ball or ping pong ball. VISIBLE . and I had a CT scan on the 26th ( he still hasnt called me ....that story in another post under currently in treatment scan results) Well I know that it is my Submandibular Gland and that is is about 9mm in size according to the CT. I am very full aware that it may NOT be cancer and just an infection ..OK well o somthing about it . I am also aware that it could be cancer and we dont know until a biopsy ...but either way ....it isnt going to just go away .it has been about 7 weeks or so and only gotten bigger. I called the new DR today and explained things and they said "he didnt biopsy it ?" I said no...I havent talked to him but he told my GP ( whose secratary called me to tell me ) that he had no concerns of a reacurrence...so the new DR office said " he can tell that from a ct ? i said not to my knowledge she said "EXACTLY !! YOU need a biopsy " so ...I dunno still . I see new dr on JUne 8th of course today I have to go sign a release for info. and STUPID ME is AFRAID of hurting my current ENT feelings and making him feel like he dosent do his job ..STUPID RIGHT !!! I mean he has done good so far I think.. I dunno ..I was DIAG at the end of JAN and SUrg in feb.. MY undersatndindg is for treatment plan ..Visits once a month for a year...IN may he said Ok see you in JULY !~ that right there made me go HUH ? that is where the comfort level dropped. that and all he seems to wanna look at know when I go in are the tonsils I DONT HAVE ...he removed them and the scar from the ND. DO you know he has NEVER scoped me ..not once. The phrases ..I dont think ..I dont feel . I am not worried..MEAN NOTHING TO ME ..coming from a medical profesional. I was told that by 4 different Medical people ( dental & DR) before my diag..DOnt worry ..are you kiding there is no way it is cancer...why would you think that...not possible ..blah blah blah ..2 days after the 1st removal ( not complete) or the lesion the phone is ringing and I have cancer !! So I Dont care what you think.....you are only human ..I want test and then I want those results. I know it isnt cancer until the pathology says so . I can be so assertive on here and when i am whinning to my husband and friends about it ..not good with the dr ..maybe because I have this Fear they are SMARTER then me and I dont know what I am talking about ..But I have given you what I think are a few good reasons for my doubt now.I research so much ..I like it in mot cases, I mean of course I dont like my situation , but I enjoy researching things and I comprehend fairly well and a few of my other Drs are impressed by my knowledege and understanding of it. But My surgeon seems ( he placates me ya know ..almost kinda yes's me , now I feel he is avoiding me ) like he thinks I am crazy and paraniod ..BUT YOU CAN SEE THIS THING ( LUMP < WELL DEFINED) on my face and I do ask others so I know i am not being paranoid or a hypochondriac cus I do fear that I am .I dunno...from my research,,,the smaller of the salivary glands are more likley to be malignant if there are tumors in them then the larger ( which I dont have anymore) I am to the point that swallowing can be difficult at times...I am having increasing numbmess in the face and increase fatigue. I know as well that tumors in the glands dont always show on CT because the glands can hide them , why wasnt this one taken in my ND he took 32 other ones Is it possible those were clear and this one wasnt. Again I am aware that cancer isnt the only cause, yet there are infections in these glands that need to be dealt with . am I handeling this all wrong ? Any suggestions ...or meications to put me out of my neurotic mind LOL.......... Thanks again for letting me ramble..I think I drive my hubby crazy , I have to say I am suprised how good he has been latley ..he was good during surgery , then he was on his GET OVER IT KICK, but now he see this and I think he is scared cus he is always saying call this dr call that dr call someone ..you gotta do somthing. I think he realizes now how REAL this is for me and it is never truley going to be OVER this is life ..at least a part of it for me . and because it is now Visible and he can see somthing it is REAL to him and he wants to know what it is and have it taken care of as well ..I mean come on ..Do you think he wants to take care of 5 kids alone LOL ..I know it isnt coming to that ,,not yet anyhow ..to much for me to do still > HEY I still have to go to a place to see that BLUE GREEN TROPICAL OCEAN !! ( i grew up near ME and that water isnt the color of the tropics) I am going NO WHERE TILL I DO THAT !!! HAHAHA and MANY MANY OTHER THINGS !!! ANd I supose he loves me too ..hahaha.. But He isnt a talker or doesnt say what he is feeling , but I can tell by his actions he is nervous ... Agian thanks for listening and Any suggestions on how to handle this are so WELCOME AND NEEDED..things like this are when you wanna throw your hands up..Drs are supose to know BEST right .